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How would you define SUCCESS?
What does it mean for you personally?



Success to many of us can mean anything. For the dynamic and ambitious executive it could mean climbing the greasy pole of corporate achievement and finally sitting pretty at the top. For a new singer it could be having a record produced for the first time and watching its progress in the charts and for an actor it could be getting that coveted part on television.

For those in the public service, like a doctor, it could be saving another person's life, especially one who was not expected to live. For a writer it is likely to see that first idea in printed form, and how it is received by the readers, while for a lawyer it could be winning the next courtroom case. Yet again, for the budding entrepreneur, it could be making his/her first millions and the feeling of being rich.

Those are all tangible, material form of success. They are difficult to miss, they spell success in big, bold, sweeping letters to the rest of society, and they provide visible means for measuring one's potential, one's progress, one's journey and one's destination.

But what about the person who judges their success by other parameters? For example, by their own values and standards? By simply living up to what they believe in? By the effect they have on others? By the difference they make to their world? By the degree to which they affect other people's lives and, most of all, by the level of happiness and contentedness they feel? Is their feeling of genuine success any different from those who wish for material accolades? And how do they tangibly measure such success, especially when they cannot see the end product of their actions? Is it according to the way they feel each day?

Finally, what about people in retreat, the ones who remove themselves from their community/society to live lives of quiet mediation and peacefulness; to live by their own ideas of fulfilment and are quite happy not to even come in contact with others, or to have any material things? Are they being successful in any way?

Which form of success applies to you the most, and what would be your individual definition of success?

Knowing this important aspect before you begin job hunting should make it much easier to get on the RIGHT carer path that suits your personality and aspirations.

8 Simple Steps to Achieving the Success You Want



You might hear a lot about how to achieve success and, especially on the Internet, there are zillions of advice as t how to reach personal goals. But the simple steps outlined below shows how we interact with success and how we can help it to materialise. These eight steps guarantee that you have the edge over others who might be ignorant of them

Experience, and lots of achievements, have taught me that every thought and creation is marked by eight stages:

1. Excitement
2. Possibility
3. Fear
4. Belief
5. Faith
6. Action
7. Commitment
8. Result

Most people get stuck on stage 3 (FEAR) which kills both the excitement and the possibility of something good happening, so very little happens to them to reinforce the talent and ability they know they possess. Many people have few fears so they get a result EVERY TIME, even if it is not the result they expected. That only fires them up to keep trying until they get the desired outcome. There is nothing more exciting than creating your own reality, seeing an idea take life from nothing, except your thought, and watching it evolve.

Others might only reach stage two (POSSIBILITY) in their ideas but lack the encouragement or resources to take it further, so they end up without any action. A few might make it to stage six (ACTION) but lack the stickability to produce the right results, while the ones who also have four essential ingredients: self-belief, faith in their abilities (and a higher power), the willingness to pay the price in focus and commitment, and the courage and patience to see it through, will triumph in the end. They will reach a result, no matter how long it takes. If you believe it, you can create it. Your focus and thought processes will eventually find the means and resources to attempt it and your commitment will give it life. This applies particularly to finding the right soulmate.

If you believe someone special is there for you, your faith, action and commitment will bring him into your world. It's your level of resistance and non-belief that will keep him/her away. Self-belief and faith are two powerful tools in getting us what we require, but without the action to bring it to life, and the courage and commitment to stick with it, we will always remain dreamers.

Self-belief and faith are also governed by our past experiences. If we have not done very well in our own eyes, or have not achieved the success we have sought, both of those ingredients gradually diminish as we brand ourselves 'failures' and hide behind our fears. We come to dread trying and experimenting with anything new because we fear having to face the consequences of any action which fail to come up to expectations. Yet consequences are part and parcel of results. We cannot escape them. The only way to cope with them is to keep trying in order to get more of the results we desire.

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The True Power of Desires Over Our Lives



We have no other choice. People go after unlimited desires simply because it is programmed within them to do so.

Desires are essential to our development, our ability to create, to innovate and to grow. They are the key to our existence.

We are programmed to chase unlimited desires because the achievement of every one of them demonstrates our potential, our capacity to make things happen, to build our world and also reinforces our self-belief. Remarkably, at the same time, we are evolving through the fulfilment of those desires, developing in awesome, new ways we never thought possible. As we evolve, the results of our actions ensures that we we desire new things in order to mature and progress on our individual journey.

If we did not chase desires, or we just chased a few and stopped, we would not reach this technological stage of evolution that we now enjoy. We would have reached a plateau where nothing much would happen. We would stagnate as we lose sight of our purpose and potential. But the mere fact that we are never satisfied with life, that every fulfilment leads to even greater yearning is a clever ploy by God, Nature, the Universe or whatever, to ensure we continue to grow until the day we die; that we never rest on our laurels because we are always moving our own goalposts to new heights of excellence. Desires ensure we have no time to sit and stare, that we are always striving to develop our world and ourselves. Without desires, and the curiosity and yearning to achieve them, we would still be back in the dark ages as primitive beings.

Desires make or break us. We cannot live without them because they shape us into whomever we wish to be and ultimately become. We gradually materialise into our dreams that are formed from desires. In turn, desires keep us on track, every step of the way, through chasing their fulfilment.

How Learning to Ask For What You Want Gets The Results



There is a little saying that the loudest voices attract the most attention and there is a lot of truth in it. Learning to ask for what you want is a skill that takes time but is guaranteed to get results in a number of ways, particularly in helping you to achieve intended objectives.

Many people do not get what they want in life through simple fear: the fear of being denied it; the fear of being thought badly of by asking for it; the fear of not deserving, or being entitled to it, and fear of the consequences of asking, especially if one is not successful. Learning to speak up for yourself clearly and assertively helps to get rid of that fear, to enhance your presence among others and to ensure your are not left behind in the race of life.

There are five ways in which learning to ask for what you want gets you the results you hope for.

First, it gets you the attention you need. If you are not noticed, you are likely to be passed over by others, ignored, sidelined and deprived of what you truly deserve. Society is a very competitive one where too many people chase after too few opportunities and resources. Not asking and remaining reticent might get you to your destination, eventually, but it is likely not to get you there at all, especially if others around you are more vocal and aggressive in fulfilling their own needs!

Second, learning to ask for what you want gradually boosts your confidence to communicate with others even more successfully. Repeated successes in achieving your desires gradually increase your self-belief, raise your self-esteem and heighten your feeling of capability and competence.

Third, learning to ask for what you want makes you more assertive. By being assertive you not only stick up for your corner, but you are also sensitive to the needs of others, a key factor in assertiveness. By asserting yourself in sensitive ways, particularly in the recognition that the other person is as important as yourself, you enhance your position and ensure you are not taken for granted or denied what is due. By asserting your presence you ensure you are not invisible and reinforce your value.

Fourth, constant practice in learning to ask for what you want actually improves your interactional skills. You learn how to be assertive without fear, how to get what you want while enabling others too and how to engage others in a mutually beneficial negotiating process, where necessary. It also avoids ambiguity, helps to clarify what you seek and also your specific direction.

Finally, learning to ask for what you want helps you to achieve tangible objectives which is the cornerstone of success. The greatest results are seeing dreams and goals slowly materialise through your own endeavours. By setting specific goals and being prepared to ask for them, or work towards them, every step of the way, you are more likely to ensure their fulfilment.

The Power of Words to Ensure Success



On the face of it, it can seem that some words, especially negative ones, have a superficial affect because they are not as damaging as physical hurt. But words can often be far more powerful in their impact. They can actually make or break life with their effect. Any physical damage can heal with time but words usually have emotional consequences that actually affect our present and our future in two major ways:

1. Words can boost self-belief, self confidence and self esteem.
Those three states lie at the heart of success. When they are reinforced, they become much more effective and they are validated through words. If we hear words that are affirming, reinforcing of who we are and desire to be, we are likely to accept them as an accurate description of who we are, which then increases our motivation to fulfil and enhance that description even more. Positive words uplift us and empower us. They remind us of our worth and value and inspire us to find our true potential. That is why quotes and sayings by other famous and successful people are so powerful in themselves. They come from sources who have benefitted from such words, who know their true value; and they motivate us to use them in ways that can benefit us too.

Words of praise, a compliment, a thank you and words of agreement are all aspects of words being very effective in changing our behaviour and perceptions; in motivating us to rise above ourselves and in giving timely reminders of our worth and value. Positive words become the armoury that protects us from the brickbats of life and reinforce the path we seek for our own fulfilment.

2. Words that damage self-perception and esteem.
If we hear nothing but constant criticisms, put downs and negative reinforcement, words that can do long-term damage to our psyche, they will affect our perception of ourselves in a very corrosive manner to the effect that we gradually come to reject ourselves. If a child from an early age keeps hearing how useless he is, how ugly she is, how he is and how stupid she seems, they will eventually internalise such negative descriptions of themselves, they will come to believe it and actually act like it.

Words that are negative have long lasting emotional consequences in our development. They have the power to erode our confidence and self esteem by making us believe that we are not who we think we are; that we lack the capabilities we think we have and that we'll never achieve what we expect. In effect, negative words kill the spirit, especially from an early age, or in a work situation. They have the power to destroy ambition, potential and even a life.

The reason why words have the power to affect others so much is related to personal identity. We are validated by the people around us. They confirm who we are, our part in society and encourage us in what we wish to be. When we hear words which negate that identity and perception, it sets up a dissonance within us which is difficult to cope with, unless we have other positive words to the contrary that disprove the negative ones.

Words are very powerful and will always affect others in either affirming or critical ways. That is why it is very important to be quick with that praise and reinforcement, while being careful about the negative things we say to others we value, especially if we don't really mean them! With some very simple words we could be having a profound effect on the lives of others, one way or another, and for a long time to come, without even realising it.

The 7 most important words in human existence



We all have words that are of special meaning to us, and some will have greater resonance and relevance than others, depending on their positive or negative associations with our experiences. However, in a global and collective consciousness, there are certain words that unite us all. They soar way above others in what they mean for the quality, success and actual purpose of our lives; words that are like beacons in guiding us to our destinations and keeping us focused. They are above all other words we use because of their power to affect our lives, to give us what we desire and to add sheer enjoyment, satisfaction and fulfilment to our existence.

These seven words have no equal. Taken individually or together they are in a class of their own because they embrace other key words within them. Imagine those words as the building blocks of your personal house, and this is how they would be used in the construction:

Self love is the foundation of your house. Everything else grows or falls on it. Armed with this word in your daily existence you just cannot go wrong. It is the essential basis for love, compassion and respect. It is the key to successful relationships and the quality of our interactions. It dictates the perception of our world, the attitude we have toward others, the empathy we feel for them, the forgiveness we are able to make and the love we freely give. If we do not love ourselves we find it hard to love and respect others too. Wherever someone is looking outward to the negative things in life, being quick to judge others rather than seeing their goodness, or to criticise rather than to nurture and love, there's huge self love missing from that person's experience. This results in a lack of confidence, lack of self-appeciation and value and a whole lot of fear.

We do not see the world as we think it is, we see the world as we are, based on the amount of self love we have. This dictates whether we feel good or bad, happy or sad, isolated or befriended, positive or negative. If we are happy and full of self love the world seems an enriching and wonderful place, no matter how terrible some situations might be. If we lack self love, we also lack trust in others, and love and empathy for others; the world seems a crap place to be. Quite simply, we can only give to others what we have to share within us. If we have no self love, we have no love to give and that has a marked effect on four main areas of our lives: our sense of belonging, the security we feel, our level of trust in others and the relationships we have.


Without belief, especially in ourselves, we are doomed. We might as well pack it in and take an early departure. If self-love is the foundation of our personal house, belief forms the pillars of it, the blocks that will hold up everything else. Belief engenders trust and faith, key words that underpin it. When we believe in anything, we trust what we know, we have faith in people's ability to deliver and we surrender to forces we might not understand but which have the power to take us farther in life than we can do by ourselves. We know that there is no limit on what we can do and achieve except what is inside our heads; we control less and enjoy life more; we can be patient as well as enthusiastic and impulsive and we can respect others too for their beliefs. 

Belief liberates us from fear and insecurity because we know that whatever we believe in - whether God or little green men - it has the power to help us make things magical. That belief, and faith in our belief, bind us all together in a shared purpose of living. Life ceases to be a drudgery and becomes joyful and fulfilling because we know, and believe, that we have the power to make our life what we want it to be. No one else is responsible but us. We do our best, believe in ourselves, trust in others (and even a higher power) to do the rest and with the faith to motivate us! The results can often be miraculous.


Values are the roof of our house. They protect us when the rains of adversity are raining down upon us; they remind us of our identity and purpose and keep us focused on our priorities in life. If you know what your key values are, you will always feel a sense of peace, security and contentment because you will be living to them. In a recent survey, some executives were asked for their top priorities in life. Without hesitation most of them said 'my family', which one would expect. However, when they were asked to itemise all the major activities in their week to see how that value was put into action, hardly any activity related to their family! They all related to money, success, achievements and status - career concerns. Family was something that sounded good when they said it.

The words might have made them feel good about themselves but the actions to match it were sorely lacking. Money doesn't make a family, though it might provide some comfort. However, money and other concerns tend to destroy a family when the focus on them is too much. In fact, many of those executives would be living with perennial guilt because they were not living according to their top values. They would be trapped emotionally between the gap of their intention and continued lack of action. Until they really put family first by aligning their actions with it, they would be fooling themselves. 

Values are the things that define us, the priorities we make in life, the codes we live by. Some secondary values will always change, according to what is happening in our life at that time, but the core ones (like justice, fair play, honesty, integrity and valuing life) will never change. They stay with us forever. When we are not living to our core values (like married spouses who declare their undying love for partners but are having affairs, or someone who does something just to please someone else even though they hate it) we get a lot of frustration, worry, stress, resentment and emotional pain. We find it difficult to be happy, contented and at peace because there is a dissonance between our intentions of good faith and our actual actions. We are then tempted to look outwards and blame others than to look inwards to address what is making us unhappy and how we can alleviate it.

Our creativity is what makes the human race as a whole survive from one day to the next. It is like the walls of a house that surround us from day to day, to keep out the elements and ensure our survival. Creativity keeps our species going by turning our desires into material things that give us artistic beauty, personal comfort, improved health, prolonged life and stretches us intellectually. Desires are not accidental things. Thanks to our natural curiosity and our ability to keep wanting and expecting, we have developed our world over the centuries to the amazing one we now live in. Creativity is about how proactive we are; our willingness to fulfil our desires without fear, to use our imagination (the most powerful tool we possess), the knowledge gained through curiosity and the motivation we feel to continually forge our existence for the benefit of ourselves and others.

Creativity allows us to leave a legacy for the next generation, to prolong the chain of life itself. People who are reluctant to use their own creativity and prefer to depend on that of others tend to be takers, not contributors. They make use of the creative flow of others without realising their own dreams for others to benefit too (like the people who daily use the Internet just for their own gain without adding something to it for others to share). They are not fully utilising their own skills and talents in order to give life to their creativity, while helping mankind as a whole.

The windows of our house give the vision we need to see what is possible for us. Our vision allows us a much wider view of life, but it is usually blocked by the curtains of fear: the fear of where we are heading and the inadequacy we feel. Vision gives us clarity and boosts our motivation. Vision provides a panoramic view of life, while hope, faith and trust help us to cover the terrain. Without vision, we have no confidence in our abilities and our potential. A lack of personal vision feels debilitating because it keeps us in limbo, there is no real purpose in life and it robs us of the motivation to even get up out of bed each day and the real excitement of living. Without vision we simply exist because we are likely to be physically and emotionally drained of the joy of living.

With a clear view through your own windows, there is a sense of urgency and vibrancy in your life - an impatience for action and a need to get on. There is much anticipation and self confidence in what you can enable through your own efforts. All things are possible.


Choices are the doors of our personal house. We either use them regularly by keeping those doors open to possibilities and moving briskly on in our lives, or we fear to exercise those choices, hark back to the past with regret, and remain in a rut. At the heart of our choices are the decisions we make. If we make no decisions regularly nothing happens. Even worse, others are likely to make those decisions for us. The choices we make are about how we exercise free will, how we deal with the consequences of our actions, the responsibility we take for them, the expectations we have of ourselves and others and how we exercise those choices once they are made.

Many people are afraid to make choices. They lack the maturity to face the consequences of their actions and so live in fear instead. Or they want everything to be so perfect, and lack self-belief so much, they do not believe they have the power to turn their choices into great decisions which will magically affect their lives. Instead they keep their emotional doors firmly shut, fearing to open them even an inch, and then wonder why they are stuck in the same places, doing the same things and feeling the same inadequacy, failure and pain for months and perhaps years.

This forms the sturdy floor of your personal house, solid and unchanging. Without discipline, you can be distracted by triviality; you can be blown this way and that; there would be no solidity or security in your journey because you would be plagued by vagueness and ambiguity. Discipline is the foundation for our behaviour because it is about commitment and consistency, first and foremost. Commitment to the things we value, to our beliefs, to the choices we make, to the creativity we exercise, the responsibilities we assume, the priorities we have and to the sacrifices we are prepared to make to achieve what is important in our lives. And consistency in our actions, whether we can be relied upon or are simply fair-weather people, changing with the wind primarily for opportunism and results without any clear direction. 

Without discipline we would be on a continual see-saw of inconsistency, perhaps starting and seldom finishing, always wishing yet never realising and often intending but not usually acting. Discipline is the glue that reinforces our actions, that takes us from one point to the next and keeps us focused on everything that is important to us.